No Fear

wow, I've just kept on rambling all my many disjointed thoughts...because it's taken me 3 days (well, now 5 days) to finish this entry..

I had this predjudiced conversation with my brother once about Chinese people; and how typically, Chinese people are motivated by fear and guilt. I don't know how true that really is for the Chinese population, cuz I'll have to also include money as a driving force too :). Anyway, fear and guilt, more guilt than fear, is sometimes a factor at least for me. I'd like to blame the typical Chinese upbringing, but really, there's no excuse. Now I just feel guilty for feeling guilty.

But yesterday, I was re-reading this familiar passage from 1 John 4 (verses 15-19)

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in
God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever
lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete
among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this
world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out
fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made
perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.

1 John is 4 is a great chapter because there are so many profound statements about God's love for us. So cool..Back to fear....there's so much fear in daily lives - fear of failing and disappointing someone or ourselves; fear of falling short of standards; fear of rejection; fear of loss; fear of getting in trouble; fear of being incompetent; fear of causing someone pain; fear of being in pain; fear of consequences of our wrong doing. Punishment - I guess if I think of it, it does all go back to punishment - be it physical, monetary, reputationally, psychologically or emotionally - punishment is the negative consequence of someone else (or even ourselves) that is directed at us for our failure.

"But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment." - well, this passage refers more to fear of eternal punishment...perfect love - agape love, unconditional love from God (and whatever unfathomable depth of love that God has for us that I wouldn't dare try to put in simple human words or even claim to understand). As we acknowledge Jesus as our Saviour, and understand that God has unconditional love for us, we have no fear of punishment. So does that have anything to do with being motivated by fear; does this apply to daily fears as opposed to fear of eternal punishment? Well I suppose if others had agape love for each other, where human beings would understand and experience perfect love from God and show perfect love to each other, fear would no longer be. Well in heaven that will be true...but what about today? I suppose, this type of fear that really really matters in the end one of eternal punishment; what does it matter outside of that? Certainly the sting of hurt emotions, or a disappointed chide, glare, loss of earthly reputation; failure in earthly standards will be numbed and healed by the fact that we can face God in confidence because of Christ; being able to feel the love from His gleaming face on the day the day we meet Him. There's nothing that can compare to that..that would make anything right and painless in comparison.

Though sometimes that is too hard to grasp that and it becomes a fuzzy warm theological thought when the pangs of fear and sadness strikes us. Hmm, I guess I can only try to change things on my side - a few people have told me that I can be intimidating sometimes; and I had to wonder why. I guess it's a sign that I fall short of being able to love those around me unconditionally; to be merciful and understanding. I hope that I can daily respond to God's love for me by trying to do the same somehow. And as I try; i know i'll fall short; but by faith, God will still hold me in His arms. ahhhhhhh. Thank God. ;)