Anger Management

Wish I watched the movie - probably could use it right now. I have a feeling, though not yet proved, that my brother deleted all my digital pics of HK, China, including all the photos of the students, team mates, etc., family in HK, scenery pics in Sichuan and prior pictures of Sunny's wedding off the camera memory card. I spent the last 3 hours looking for the pictures in my lap top drive, my desk top drive, the camera memory card, the net drive etc. The more instances that I couldn't find the pictures, the more angry I got.

And I'm really trying not to 'jump to conclusions' (i have to put that in quotes every time I say/write that because it is now an official quote from Office Space). But at this point, I admit that I'm already really ticked.

Trying to not sin in my anger a la Psalm 4:4 is pretty difficult. I feel a natural tendancy to..get physically agitated from frustration, get violent - I feel like kicking something, raise my voice and yell, clench my teeth and grind them..etc. In fact, I've already envisioned what I would say when I will call up my brother and yell at him for being so inconsiderate and selfish. From past experience & normal stereotypes, this isn't too unusual of a reaction to anger.

In the midst of getting angry tonight, my thoughts of anger & violence geekily veered off into something theoretical, which promted this blog (though I've meant to write something much earlier). Can people be angry and naturally feel something other than violent & physically agitated? Wouldn't it be great if people's natural reaction in anger is to be sleepy? Or to make funny jokes? I'm sure there are physiological reasons why a typical reaction is physical agitation - likely faster pumping heart & blood pressure, more energy etc.

Then on the spiritual side - at what point and how did sin in being angry entre into mankind? I suppose it all came with the original fall of mankind, but I wonder how Adam or Eve would have physiologically and physically responded to godly anger that they would have felt if they continued to be in Eden and never fell. Then I think of Jesus, in His godly and righteous anger against the shady merchants trading in the synagogue, He seemed pretty agitated too - physically. So is physical agitation not a direct sin of anger?

Anyway, I've both bored myself and confused myself out of anger now and I can go to bed and sleep.

Goodnight blogspace!

The benefit of this blog is that in looking up Psalm 4 as a reference, I learned the rest of the verse, which I never knew:

"In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah" Psalm 4:4

Selah